Silly Tales from the Bench: Volume 1
Happy December, and Happy impending Holidays! This post is a bit unusual, and it kicks off an annual tradition of sharing interesting, crazy, and silly repair stories about fixes that have happened over the past year. Since this is our first one, I’m throwing in some classic repair stories of Songbirds legend. Going forward, I’ll just mention tales that have happened over the past year. We really enjoy instrument repair around here, but most clients don’t see “behind the curtain” – here’s a peak at some of the silly stuff that goes on! So, grab a cup of hot cocoa, a nice blanket, and let’s have some laughs!
Shameless Plug: Just a reminder that Songbirds does instrument and gear repairs on site! We fix combo instruments (guitars, amps, pedals, speakers, etc.) as well as band and orchestra instruments! Contact us and check out our Repair Page for more information!
Disclaimer: If any of the mentioned repair stories sound familiar, no worries! We aren’t poking fun, and crazy things happen to everyone! If you provided one of these silly incidents, thank you, and we’re glad to have helped with the fix!
Aw, Rats!
I complete a decent amount of acoustic piano tunings throughout the year, and I’ve got a few silly repair stories to go with them! A lot of clients get pianos as gifts, heirlooms, or for free on local marketplaces. Of course, this means that the origin and history of the instrument may be a bit nebulous. One time, I was at a lovely home with a lovely family. They had just found a free piano on the street and had spent a lot of time refinishing it. Goodbye 1970s chipped lacquer, hello gorgeous white wash! I was nearly completed with the tuning when I dropped one of my tuning mutes down inside the instrument. This is pretty common – I’m clumsy. The mute fell behind the action and ended up in the bottom of the piano. I popped off the bottom panel to retrieve my mute, but I was surprised to find a big rat’s nest at the bottom! Someone had a lovely and warm home, complete with ambient music from the keys. The client had no idea and was horrified, but I’m sure that they got it all cleaned out. You wouldn’t believe how many rat nests I’ve seen on the job…
It’s Electric!
Here’s a story that implicates yours truly. The first thing that every tech learns about electronic repair is that tube amps are incredibly dangerous. They carry higher-than-normal voltage that can seriously hurt and kill you. We are lectured and warned time and time again to be careful and avoid accidents. It only takes one shock to kill.
Well, we are human after all. I had a tube amp on my bench and was checking the voltages at the tube pins with a multimeter. I forget why, but somehow a metal piece of debris shifted inside the chassis and rested against one of the pins. I unplugged the amp, but I completely blanked on the rest of the normal safety protocol. Friends, removing a piece of metal debris with a metal screwdriver is not the best idea. Even though the amp was unplugged, I got a nasty shock and a huge dose of adrenaline.
That was the end of my repairs for that day. I’ve been extraordinarily careful since then, but I’ll never forget the horrible feeling that I could have been found on the shop floor…
Who You Gonna Call?
Electronic repairs are funny. If there’s an issue with the circuit, usually nothing works. It’s either fully functional or not at all. Some rare times, you get a partially-working circuit that behaves like it shouldn’t. Haunted electronics, I say!
Very recently, I had a dead circuit that wasn’t doing anything at all. I plugged in my audio probe and oscilloscope. After carefully tracing the entire audio path, I powered on the circuit again only to have it work completely. To clarify, I didn’t do anything that warranted a fix. It just… magically worked.
I’d be lying if I said that this was the first time something like this happened. Sometimes, the electric ghosts are on your side.
Money!
I do a lot of “house calls” for local schools and their band programs. Recently, I had a bunch of keyboards to fix at a piano lab classroom, and many of them had annoying clicking and sticking keys. These repairs are usually simple as those symptoms indicate mechanical issues like foreign objects. Well, let me tell you, I got a big pay day! There must have been a coin-collecting hooligan at the school, because every single keyboard had multiple quarters shoved beneath the keybed. One was even from the 1970s and may be worth something, so that’s cool! Money sabotage!
GOOOOOAAAL!
At another acoustic piano tuning, things were going as well as could be expected. The instrument was old and needed to be put out to pasture, but I was having success in getting it close to where it needed to be in regards to tuning. When I was about halfway through, the client approached and asked if it would be a problem if they “put the game on” while I finished the tuning. The television was in the same (small) room, but when faced with an awkward situation like this, you can’t really say no to the homeowner. I agreed and tried to hurry with the rest of the tuning, except…
The family was from a country in South America, and their team was playing in the game. That game was the FIFA World Cup. All of a sudden, a ton of new guests were in the living room and the noise was deafening. TV volume: up. Shouting: up. Tuning ability: dismal.
Magic Smoke!
We have a silly joke in the repair business, and it goes something like this: there is magic smoke hiding inside every electronic device. If you let the magic smoke out, the device stops working.
I had a PA speaker repair on my bench, and after checking the fuse and the mechanical connections, I powered it on. The client had said that it wasn’t working at all, and in “dead” cases like this, there usually isn’t a lot of danger in powering it up to get some test voltages. I flipped the switch, and immediately thick white smoke billowed out of the speaker from the grill, from behind the back panel, from everywhere! I have a propensity for gallows humor, and let me tell you, the smell in the building reeked of chemicals and cancer.
It turns out that the full wave rectifier had completely failed. AC voltage was running through the entire circuit and fried everything!
Not Rats… Cats!
Of all the repair stories, this one takes the cake. Unfortunately, I’ve had this one happen twice. The more memorable situation went something like this:
We got a call from our affiliate warehouse that there was an issue with a keyboard that was just dropped off. The guys there had stored the keyboard upright, and when they moved it to put it on the truck and get it to our shop, they were horrified to find that the keyboard “was leaking”.
Excuse me, what? Keyboards don’t have any fluid inside of them, and if they do, that’s usually a death sentence. That’s all the information that we got until the instrument arrived at my bench.
Guys. That was cat urine. I took the keyboard to a neighboring room, closed the door, put on a mask and heavy-duty gloves, and got in there. I think that I burned an entire roll of paper towels. I used diluted bleach. Rubbing alcohol. Febreeze. Air fresheners. Dawn dish soap. One of our admins came into the room to ask a question, not knowing what was going on, and immediately asked why it smelled like her cat’s litterbox.
The keyboard still smells. It’s in storage and is in need of new PCBs that have not been used as a bathroom. Maybe some day I’ll be able to resurrect it, but until then, I’m staying far away!
Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for our next post to the Songbirds Knowledge Blog! Happy Holidays, and may your gear never break (but if it does, let us know and we’ll fix it for you)! Our next volume of repair stories will be out around this time next year.